poetry03

The Rain - 07 - Perfect Moment (The Rain)

words of welcome

i
all the hardships that i endure,
not knowing what it may come.
yet something tells me to secure,
and continue forever more.

ii
as i recount those very times,
more vividly in my memory.
that echoes more like chimes,
i could just catch my breath.

iii
it pains me to think,
the efforts that i have to do.
yet so quickly in a blink,
all of it vanished without ado.

iv
as i recall those preparations done,
i could just then stare blankly.
yet with all that’s said and done,
all was worth it frankly.

v
the anticipation that i have to hide,
no matter what in any way i do.
still haunts me with pride,
but i am afriad to let it go.

vi
as for the moment of truth comes,
for us to met face to face.
i was choke on my own tears,
now i can see the future differently.

11 - 05 - 2000 / 2305

this poem was written at the cebu community hospital, after my wife and first child was settled in their espective rooms. that is at around 11pm. the poem expresses the very feeling that i felt when first met my two kids right after they were born.

i had a chance to hold my son when we arrived at home, i am the one holding him in my arms. i tried to touch him at the nursery section but the nurse did not allowed me. i was in a sort of way not in a very hygienic state then.

as for my daughter, i was the one to recieve her when she was brought by the nurse into her mother’s room.

on both scenario’s there is only one feeling that i felt. sorry, can’t explain it. words aren’t enough to explain it, the poem itself only scratches the mere surface. 

poetry02

Savage Garden - 03 - Truly Madly Deeply (Savage Garden)

I

On the very day that we met,
I thought that it was just a mere coincidence,
Or so it seems or was it?
It could have been aided by the divine providence.

 
II
Yet it still lingers in my mind,
And that makes me wonder,
Why am i so blind,
Blinded by fear that i didn’t dare.

III
So blinded by fear that i almost quit,
And pretended that i didn’t care,
But i was troubled by it,
For i didn’t gave it much time to spare.

IV

It only made things harder for me,
As things really gets complicated,
And i have to rely on myself but me,
Either i will or will not, have this attended.

V

As if there is something i am afraid to find,
Or is it plain cowardice that i cower.
If ever there is an opportunity so kind,
I will not let it get away ever.

VI

I am hoping that there is way,
To make this wish of mine a reality.
Then i can promise i will not sway,
And having you a real reality.

0800 - 2000 hrs./sept. 13, 1995

funny as it may seem today but back then, i really don’t have any idea as to why i wrote this poem in the first place.

it was one of those office days that we don’t have anything to do, not that we don’t have anything to do but we were able to finished the assigned job way ahead of schedule. with nothing to do, i took piece of paper and a pen. could be some sense of hopeless romanticism in me, that wrote this poem. i started to write this poem at around 8am and was able to finished this until 8pm. the next day i had this printed and the poem itself is not that bad for a lot of my co-employees ask for a copy. damn! na unhan pa ko sa mga ukoy!

to whom this poem is dedicated? if you asked me then i would gave hazy answers but if you ask me now, i will give you a one sure fire confident answer.

i have said funny, because the poem has in some sort have a prophetic tone. it really fits the process that i have gone through just to end up with the woman in my dreams, my wife.

romantic isn’t it?

here’s the story:

first met my future wife back in march 1995, in a casual introduction. she’s still a college student then and i, a part-time college instructor at that time and still applying for a job. i wasn’t working for islacom at that time, islacom was took over by globe in 1999 and i was hire in may of 1995. that is stanza one of the poem.

i met my future wife again in late 1997 and in early 1998, the story unfolds and that fits the 2nd stanza up to the 6th stanza. the rest as they say is history. we tied the matrimonial knot in december 11, 1999. 

pagka romantic jud!

poetry01

Wild Swans - 01 - English Electric Lightning (Wild Swans)

eyeswhenever i close my eyes

i
i close my eyes and shut myself away,
and think of the things and events,
that happen to come my way, good or bad,
a lot of things that come into my mind,
which is one too many for me.

ii
i close my eyes and shut myself away,
and think of those people whom i’ve met.
some of whom points the blame on me,
for letting my ideas muddled theirs.
i’m only expressing and i didn’t say do it.

iii
when i close my eyes and isolate myself,
and think of my emotions inside me,
fear and anxiety, frustration and
confusion, anger and pain, all kept in me.
if i let it out, others might get hit or hurt.

iv
i have to close my eyes to see things,
bright and blurred, black and white,
both from negative and positive sides,
and why these things happen to me.
it really puts me in a confused situation.

v
closing my eyes and think of those things,
that made me suffer and cry in silence,
and to the extent of drafting my suicide,
and making it a reality to end this life,
but a tiny flicker of light stopped me.

vi
i close my eyes to see things,
that i’ve done in the past without regret,
and to be done today regardless of repercussions,
for the future without hesitation.
nothing can be done with the past only for the future.

vii
closing my eyes and looking around me,
i see humans with their insane sanity,
while living in uncivilized civilization,
just to fit the inhuman humanity,
we’ve done this just to conform.

viii
i close my eyes and see myself,
a person, a human of flesh and blood,
a person with a heart not of stone.
who’s trying to contain and control oneself,
while praying that i still have the guts to do it in the future.

ix
whenever i close my eyes…

(08-11-1993/0830hrs)

back 1993, this poem made lot of sense to me and still is today but not in the same manner as then. this was, believe it or not was intended as a suicide note but as i was halfway thru it, i felt a sense of release was taken of my chest. days if not weeks before this was written, a feeling of desperation, frustration, emptiness and desolation hounded me. how i ended with that feeling years ago, i really don’t know, even up to this day. and i never wanted to know, even if i had a few loose ideas as to what causes it.

now, as i read and re-post this once again(it was posted on my other web: www.swaki.multiply.com on 01-08-2008), all i could do is smile and take a deep breath. had i ended my life back then, i wouldn’t be able to see what we have today. just thankful that i kept in mind what my college instructor in technical english writing told us then: “write down whatever feeling you have felt, for it will not only gave a sense of relief but also a smile on your face whenever you read what you have written”. i simply did just that, and it’s true. thanks to my college instructor.